The Fog

John Carpenter!!!!!!

Starring Jamie Lee Curtis and her ma.

Plot: In the little seaside/fishing town of Antonio Bay, the residents are gearing up for a rather understated 100 year anniversary celebration (they have candles and a small statue). Little do they know that there is a timely bank of fog rolling in off the coast and it seems to be bringing with it the ghostly dead of a leaper colony the original settlers abandoned and deliberately shipwrecked.

There isn't a great deal more to it, sadly. Did make me jump once though and it didn't slow down. You can see where it and The Mist (to be or not to be-section) have their similarities. Watch out for the opening scene and a cameo by our favourite cult director.

Budget: $1,000,000

Gross: $21,378,000

Fun Fact: Inspiration for the film came from a timely visit to Stonehenge and an eerie fog in the distance. Spooooooooooky. The lead actress was Carpenter's then wife, Adrienne Barbeau.

Colossus: The Forbidden Project

1970, Sci-Fi, cult, gem.

Plot: It's the height of the cold-war and it's become apparent that the fate of the Earth can no longer rest in the hands of men or women. That being the case, the US creates a very large computer to take over all weapons control, bury it in a mountain to safeguard against sabotage and then turn it on. That's all well and good. The folks at the White House are chuffed and have a few glasses of champers. Then Colossus (a rather subtle name I'm sure you'll agree) discovers it's counterpart machine (guess where).

So, for security, the government disconnects the link to the outside world. Both machines (Colossus and Guardian) have a strop and demand to be linked or they'll start nukin' the planet.

Really what we have here is a film about the frailty and naivete of man and the logical, blackmail of silicon life.

Well worth the watch, not only for the outdated computers but also for an ending that was in almost direct contrast to the 80's, happy Sci-Fi's that so often followed.

Fun Fact: Charlton Heston and Gregory Peck were pipped to the lead role by an unknown on the insistence of the director. Why? Who know's? Either would have been great in this film. A remake was planned by Ron Howard, then delayed. Now it's looking like Big willy Style-Will Smith is gonna star. Guess I am Legend just wasn't enough for him.

Videodrome

There are many things to be said about David Cronenberg and his directing; good, wholesome, family fun-these are not those words.

Plot: James Woods (Legend-John Carpenter's Vampires) is a producer for a small scale TV station that caters for the lowest common demographic. He's constantly on the look out for something grittier than the soft-core porn he's currently programming. One day his in-house tech/hacker fella comes across a pirate transmission showing what seems to be 'real' torture. Woods is fascinated and decides to track it down.

While on the hunt, his new lady squeeze-Debbie Harry (who fancies a touch of S&M) buggers off to Pittsburgh to find the transmission herself. She goes missing and while looking for her, Woods develops a headache and realises that the transmission-Videodrome, is a lot more than a snuff show, it's TV in your mind, altering your mind, changing you...

Anyway, he starts hallucinating, random folk shove Betamax tapes in his stomach and he goes on a killing spree. The End.

Budget: $5,592,000

Gross: $ 2,120,439

Fun Fact: A re-make is 'in development' and has been for a few years. They only used Betamax because VHS were too big for the stomach entry. I think it works better that way, more authentic.

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th dimension

Wow, was this a bad movie!

Some films you have to wonder how they got past the 'pitchin' process.

Plot: Super-dooper scientist/80's musician (Peter Weller-RoboCop) and his gang, The Hong Kong Cavaliers, are attempting to cross through the 8th dimension or something, but meet some aliens that want to release their 'Hitler' for some reason. So it's down to Bonzai and his buds to stop them.

That's the simplest way I can describe this film, given that the editing and the screenplay make little to no sense and quite frankly, you keep checking your watch to see when it'll end. The crap I watch for you people!

Budget: $12,000,000 (it was the post Star Wars 80's)

Gross: $6,227,998

Fun Fact: A sequel and a TV series were touted, thank the heavens they were quickly shelved...but they may still come back! Not a lot of originality in Hollywood these days. Look out for early appearances from John Lithgow, Jeff Goldblum, Ellen Barkin and a pre-Back to the Future, Christopher Lloyd.

Basket Case

Proof positive that you can, quite easily and with little or no script, make a film that fools will watch (myself included).

Plot: Boy is born with a siamese twin attached at the side. His father forces an operation upon the pair and dumps the 'extra' bit in a bin bag. The discarded twin kills daddy and the pair live happily ever after, until they decide to kill the doctors that performed the operation.

That's it. Loads of excessive blood splatter, lack of budget and even less actor talent, as you'd expect.
I'd give it a miss people. It's not worth the time, I can't even pick out one memorable moment.

Budget: $35,000 (yep and you can tell)

Fun Fact: Directed by Frank Henenlotter, fella that made Brain Damage, also reviewed. There are 2 sequels, should you wanna turn off the sound and have a laugh dubbing it yourself. 

Star Wars episode IV: A New Hope

Ok, so, I wasn't going to review this one. It's a huge phenomena, but it certainly fits within the cult genre, despite it's global popularity.

Plot: There's this kid (Mark Hamill), his names Luke and he doesn't like being a moisture farmer or whatever  and dreams of a day when he will become 'someone', anyone. Well, that day comes when his uncle buys a couple of errant robots from some midgets in a rusty van and there's a message with a hologram of a hot chick inside. What's a teenager to do but follow?!

So he hops in his floating land-speeder thing and goes to visit a crusty old man (Alec Guinness) in the desert (cos the chick wants him to-most kids are taught not do this, but it's space, so I guess it's ok) and learns how to swing a laser sword around (as you do). Then they bugger off to a pub, hire a spaceship from a bloke in a waistcoat (possibly the waiter), infiltrate a metal moon (run by Hammer Horror legend-Peter Cushing), rescue the chick (Carrie Fisher) and subsequently the film ends.

All the while model spaceships explode and John Williams makes beautiful music throughout, ahhhh.

Budget: $11,000,000

Gross: $755,398,007... and counting

Fun Fact: Na, if you've seen this film, you've googled it and if you've googled it, you know more than enough.

Silent Night, Deadly Night

Ok, so no points for the title.

Plot: Mum, Dad, 4yr old boy and baby brother are on their way back from visiting a play acting, catatonic grandpa with a malevolent streak, when they are flagged down by a Santa on a killing spree. Their folks are butchered and the kids end up in a Catholic orphanage (you know what's gonna become of him before we even go on). Through ignorance and maltreatment, the elder of the brothers (experiencing nightmares about Santa for years) eventually snaps.

Line of the film; "Punish, Punish, Punish!"

Budget: $750,000

Gross: $2,491,460

It was inevitable that a Santa horror would appear, given that the film was manufactured at the height of the 1980's horror obsession and we have to say thank-you; not for the writing, acting, camera work or directing, but for the numerous pairs of chests on show, which seem essential to keep the attention span of the people doomed to watch this film.

Fun Fact: The PTA fought to ban this film for it's portrayal of Santa as a 'Bad Egg', had they seen the film first, they might of realised that it was a waste of time. The film was soon pulled from distribution although four sequels followed, including Silent Night, Deadly Night 5-The Toy Maker.

Dog Soldiers

Written/Directed by Neil Marshall (The Descent), starring Kevin McKidd (Rome) and Sean Pertwee (Worzel Gummidge's son), Dog Soldiers gives every British fan of cult film making something they've been after for years...a modern British cult film.

Plot: A squad of British soldiers are sent on a training exercise to the Scottish Highlands, pitting them against special forces. Turns out though, they were just bait. Seems those pesky scots have been hiding a bit of a secret; when the moon comes out, they get as hairy as Robin Williams and decidedly less funny, or more funny, depends on your outlook. Holding up in a small house in the middle of nowhere, you get to revel in the heroic and guffaw at the ridiculous. Ever 'panned' a werewolf?

Gross: $5,491,093

This figure reflects it's standing within the cult world and explains the increasing calls for a sequel.

Fun Fact: A web-series is planned, as is that follow up, Dog Soldiers-Fresh Meat.

The Abominable Dr Phibes

This one's a cult classic. Most of you will of at least heard of it.

Plot: Set in the 1920's, a rash of religious themed killings are impacting the medical profession in London. Seems they're all dropping as part of the Ten Plagues of Egypt. First you get the Boils, then the Bats, Frogs, Blood, etc. Turns out that our title character (Vincent Price) and wife are the victims of a car wreck. He survived, just (a touch reminiscent of a certain theatrically masked musician) and occupies himself playing the organ and planning the death of the surgeons whom he believes killed his wife on the operating table. The cops are the case though. There's also a very attractive young woman wandering around playing the violin...not sure what she's there for other than oggling.

Fun Fact: Mr Price was a second choice after Hammer star Peter Cushing turned the role down due to his wife's illness at the time. Just the one sequel folks, Dr Phibes Rises Again.

Brain Damage

You have to watch this film to believe it. I miss the 80's. You couldn't or simply wouldn't do this film these days.

Plot: Disembodied brain stem travels through the years, feeding on human brains and living a symbiotic relationship with various folks. In return-Aylmer gives his buddies a shot of his 'juice'. Yep, it's a drug story for the ages. Stick it in the 1980's and add various phallic scenes and you got yourself a winner!

Budget: $? insert your best guess here...

Gross: $?

Directed by Frankenhooker and Basket Case maestro Frank Henenlotter, you can't fail to enjoy the overly long shots, the shockingly bad acting and for the ladies, the ridiculously veiny leading character.

From Beyond

Directed by Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, Robot Jox), Produced by Brian Yuzna (Bride of Re-Animator, Beyond Re-Animator) and starring the actor that seems to live H.P.Lovecraft, Jeffrey Combs.

Plot: Two scientists, one a sex crazed nut-job and the other is Jeff-his assistant, are mid-experiment. Their idea is to enhance a gland of the brain that can theoretically open the mind to see other worldly things and stuff and such. It goes great!...however, it seems there are a few nasty flying slugs in this cross over universe that bite and the weird pink glow their machine emits drives ya horny beyond measure (sounds good so far huh). So, mad guy gets his head bitten off, Jeff goes 'nuts' and is incarcerated until a rather head strong therapist lady comes along and insists they retry the experiment.

It's good folks. It's an eighties horror, with gore, sfx and a great original story from a master of horror!

Budget: $4,500,000

Gross: $1,261,000

The Blob

In 1988, a remake of the seminal cult classic sci-fi film, The Blob was made. In place of Steve McQueen, we got Kevin Dillon (just past acne), a very young Erika Eleniak (pre-Baywatch) with a 'killer' buxom (yep, I went there, just watch) and a Frank Darabont screenplay (Shawshank Redemption, The Mist). All told, it's not a bad trade off.

Plot: Comet crashes to Earth carrying with it a pink blob. A homeless man (they're always the first to go) gets his hand absorbed by said blob and gets taken to the hospital by Dillon and two others. While in the emergency room, bad-boy Dillon buggers off and the other lad dies. Quickly all involved figure out what's happening. In the mean time, the government scientists in the white coats and masks appear to take charge of the situation.

You know where it's all going, but the valid difference between the McQueen/Dillon versions is the gore factor. The original, due to the time, was limited by it's censorship- 1988 Blob is hampered by no such issues.

Budget: $19,000,000 (it really doesn't show)

Gross: $8,247,943

Fun Fact: The good reverend (Del Close-The Untouchables) is a former fire-eater and Human Torch.

Motel Hell

"How would you like it if someday, I taught you the ancient art of meat smoking"?

Line of the film! I kid you not.

Plot: An aged fella and his disturbed sister run a motel in the south of America (where else?) on a meat farm. Farmer Vincent (our kindly old chap) prides himself on his preservative free product...human jerky! dun dun duuuuuu.

Yep, I know, ya saw that coming a mile away, but it's worth the watch, because there are a few nasty surprises and for the awesome innuendo in that afore mentioned scriptwriting. Gotta also ignore the gaping plot errors and the fact that the motel is a pale Psycho homage or straight rip off...and they barely use it.

Budget: $3,000,000

Gross: $6,342,668

Fun Fact: A remake has been touted.

Pumpkinhead

In his first foray into directing, special effects maestro Stan Winston created this monster film in 1988, but oddly didn't do the sfx.

Plot: In the back woods of the south USA, a group of guys and gals go for a fun weekend in the country. Pulling up to a fruit stand, they decide it's time to take the motor-cross bikes for a whirl. As a result, they accidentally run down the owners little boy and kill him, running away as the guilty party is on parole. The angered father- Lance Henriksen (Aliens, AVP) seeks revenge from an aged women, in the form of a resurrected demon called Pumpkinhead.

This is a film designed to scare. It isn't one of those 80's horrors that floods its storyline with bad jokes and makes light of the situation, it revels in the fear it emotes. The effects are actually very good. Yes, it's a guy in a monster costume, but it's a damn good costume.

Gross: $4,385,516

Fun Fact: Based on a poem by Ed Justin, kind of an evil nursery rhyme. Sequels include Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, Pumpkinhead 3: The Original Sin, Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes and Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud.  

Cyborg

Brace yourselves people, because this is one of, if not the only film of the great JCVD's career where-in, wait for it...he doesn't show his bare arse! I know?! Amazing huh.

Plot: In a post-apocalyptic world, ravaged by plague, the remaining few doctors think they have a cure. The tricky part being that this is a rather harsh world and they need to surgically alter a person to act as a storage device/courier (that's not JCVD) and reclaim the information from New York and take it to Atlanta. To get there, she's gonna need a little help, that's JC's department. Of course he gets his ass kicked, a lot, but he eventually gets her to her destination, only to face a battle to the death with another cyborg, this one's a touch more butch though.

Budget: $500,000

Gross: $10,166,459

Fun Fact: This film was written as a basic outline over a weekend, intended for Chuck 'the fist' Norris. One of the actors actually lost an eye when a wayward kick from JCVD collided with his face. As a result, JC had to fork out $485,000, nearly more than the budget of the film!

Oh, another great fact...the sequel, Cyborg 2, stars Jack Palance, Elias Koteas and Angelina Jolie.

Lifeforce

Right, 1985, Tobe Hooper (Poltergeist, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) directs a space vampire film. Those statements in themselves should set alarm bells ringing. Ringing in a joyful manner that is, because Lifeforce is fun for all the family, if they happen to be over 18 and fans of sexy ladies and their boobs.

Plot: The British space shuttle Churchill is floating along on it's mission to have a butchers at Halley's Comet, when they detect a needle shaped object sitting in the corona of the comet. Turns out, it's a spaceship, with loads a crusty, bat-like creatures and a few folk in some sort of hibernation. They decide to take 'em back to the UK and have a better butchers. Things go tits up and a spare shuttle pops up to investigate.

I'll not go any further other than to say that this space vampire film is also a sort of zombie film and has a rather disturbing scene where Sir Patrick Stewart snogs another guy...ew.

Budget: $25,000,000

Gross: $11,603,545

Fun Fact: Screenplay by sci-fi script master Dan O'Bannon. Michael Winner was at one point considered for the helm, with Sir John Gielgud, Klaus Kinski, George Peppard and Billy Idol also considered for the roles.

Space Camp

You've gotta remember this one. I must have seen this film ten times over the years...of course it got more and more ropey with every watch, but for the time 1986 and given my infatuation with space, this was the film to love.

Plot: Kids go to Space Camp, NASA's own junior space program, wherein a host of kids get to play around for the summer on various NASA training systems and machines. One day, the geeky little, chubby kid (Max) makes friends with Jinx, a robot that NASA never got around to using. One day Jinx hears a bullied Max wishing out loud that he were in space. Jinx, being rather clever, decides to make that happen, of course it helps that a launch is scheduled and he puts em on the rota to have a butchers at the real shuttle. Then...guess what happens.

Truly, I loved this film. There's all manner of joy to be held from placing yourself in the kid's shoes and thrusting off into the cosmos.

Sadly, the film bombed at the box office. Probably didn't help that The Challenger mission disaster happened the same year the film was released.

Budget: $20,000,000

Gross: $9,697,739

Fun Fact: The annoying kid, that was Joaquin Phoenix. Also starred, Kelly Preston (Twins, Battlefield Earth), Tom Skerritt (Top Gun), Terry O'Quinn (Lost, West Wing), Kate Capshaw (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom) and Lea Thompson (Back to the Future, Howard the Duck).

Screamers

One of the most recent films on this site, 1995, but I like to think for a good reason. Philip K.Dick wrote the short story it's based on, usually that would be enough and in this case, it is.

Plot: Earth is at war with itself. The Alliance discovered a mineral that would service all it's fuel needs, the kicker is, the scientists and the workers that mine it, contract radiation poisoning. As such, they put down tools and refuse to work. War for fuel, what a foreign concept. So, The Alliance has a base and a commander, Peter Weller (RoboCop, Leviathan), they also have control of the 'Screamers', ball shaped robots that burrow through the ground and slash to pieces anyone with a pulse. Luckily for the Alliance, they have sorta wristwatches that broadcast their heartbeats out of time and thus, they are free to roam the lovely, desolate countryside of Sirius 6B.

So, the Alliance realise that the 'Screamers' have evolved, fashioned themselves in the humans image (to trick em you see-clever) and are after them too. So, they decide to try and escape.

Actually, it's pretty good. All until the very last shot. I'll not spoil it, but you watch it and tell me if THAT was needed!

Budget: $20,000,000 (yep, really)

Fun Fact: Screenplay by Dan O'Bannon, fella that wrote Alien, Life Force and even Total Recall. There are two sequels for your viewing 'pleasure'? I watched Screamers II for ya already...won't be doing that again!

Leviathan

The great creature from the deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Scary, kinda, ish.

Plot: Peter Weller (RoboCop) is a Geologist, working with a group of rough neck folk (not that rough really though) on an underground mining station, when on a routine outing, Daniel Stern (Home Alone) goes missing. They find him, don't worry (I could tell the suspense had built up in you, but don't worry), he's in a sunken Russian ship (guess the name, go on) and has found some 'booty' (that's pirate speak for 'stuff', not gangsta speak for bottoms.

So, they have a look, there's a video saying the ship went down, but a touch vague and there's a flask with vodka in it, which Daniel Stern drinks and even shares with the busty girl on the crew. As a result, they start to mutate into sea depth capable creatures. Then crew has to fight em' off and escape to the surface, all the while hoping to dodge a hurricane 16000 ft above on the surface...or so they're told.

Gross: $15,704,614

Fun Fact: Got Ernie Hudson in it! (Ghostbusters, The Crow) and Stan Winston did the effects, very The Thing ish, but cheaper.

Dreamscape

This 1984 sci-fi/horror stars a very young Dennis Quaid, a pre-Indy Kate Capshaw and depending on the time of the release, (both Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Dreamscape being released in the same year) we appear to have very similar posters. Rather deceptive when you actually see Dreamscape.

Plot: Dennis Quaid is able to remote-view, read peoples minds. He uses this talent to pick horses at the racetrack. Then one day Max Von Sydow (Ming-Flash Gordon) arrives, saves him from angry bookies and asks him to join his scientific project, to enter dreams and help people with their nightmares. Dennis is reluctant, but then Kate Capshaw arrives and his libido agrees. Turns out the project is government funded, meaning there's a bit of dodginess abound and Dennis is gonna have to save the day.

Sfx aren't bad. There's a little claymation and a  few funky coloured backgrounds. That's pretty much ya lot.

Gross: $12,145,169

Fun Fact: Another film based on a Robert Zelazny book, this time a hybrid of two-He Who Shapes and The Dream Master.

Hangar 18

Despite the poster, despite the low gross at the box office and despite the rather rotund astronaut, this isn't a bad UFO film at all.

Plot: A crew of three Astronauts are mid-mission, releasing a satellite into orbit when it collides with a UFO, explodes and crash lands, sort of, in middle america. Upon their arrival home, the remaining two members of the crew are blamed for the the third's death and a cover up regarding the UFO begins. Well, our all american heroes don't settle for the blame and go investigating! Flying saucer, baldy aliens and flat screen TVs all around. Enjoy.

Gross: $6,000,000 (strange considering the actual amusement factor of the film and the date, 1980)

Gaping plot holes and under development marr this film. Shame really.

Shockwaves

Shocking more in that it was filmed, than the story itself. However, it has to be one of, if not the first Nazi occult type films made, 1977.

Plot: A tourist boat off the coast of Florida, led by a 'rummy' captain and his two crew members are enjoying the sun and sea, when one night, while on watch, a very large cargo steamer seems to bear down on the tourists. As a result, they run a ground near a conveniently situated island...or is it? On said island lives a rather crusty Peter Cushing (Hammer Film Legend) and his not so friendly Nazi Storm Troopers. Credit to our tourists, they do appear to take the revelation of zombie Nazi's in their stride (Ha, stride, get it...they're soldiers, they march around?!...forget it). Then they try and fight 'em off.

Also known as Almost Human and Death Corps.

Budget: $200,000

Fun Fact: If you'e looking for other films of the Nefarious Nazi ilk, check out these, Outpost, Dead Snow (reviewed in To be section), Horrors of War, Zombie Lake and Oasis of the Zombies.

Timescape

Starring Jeff Daniels (Dumb & Dumber), Ariana Richards (the little girl from Jurassic Park) and directed by David Twohy (Pitch Black), Timescape is an original feeling sci-fi film. 

Plot: Jeff and his daughter are busy refurbishing their house in an american hamlet town, ready for its new openning as a guest house, when a very 80's group of pretty people arrive in a large bus and take lodging. They say they're tourists, but what's to see in a little out-of-the-way town like this one? Spectacle, that's what. Seems Jeff's first guests are tourists from the perfect future, come to have a gander at the disasters of the past. It's up to Jeff to save the day.

Having seen this film more than a few times over the years (a personal favourite from a young age), I'm definately bias towards it. That being said, it's a subtle sci-fi. The elements that make this feature entertaining aren't garish and ham fisted. If you can't find it as Timescape, try its video title, Grand Tour: Disaster in Time.

Fun Fact: Written by husband and wife team Henry Kuttner and C.L. Moore, both members of the H.P.Lovecraft Circle.

Mother Night

Of the few Kurt Vonnegut adaptations out there, Slaughter House Five being the best, Mother Night runs a very close 2nd.

Plot: Nick Nolte stars as Howard W. Campbell Jr, the last 'free-American' in WWII Berlin. A playwrite and an American by birth, turned propaganda machine for the Third Reich, Campbell and his wife (Sheryl Lee) live only for each other, so when the war comes, Campbell carries on regardless. Until John Goodman, a US agent approaches the romantic Campbell to be selfless and become a double agent for the Allies.

What comes after is the torment and the realization that he would be then and forever disavowed as an American and following the death of his wife live for nothing except his mourning.

A powerful performance by Nolte, who was in himself headhunted by the director-Keith Gordon. Also stars Alan Arkin.

Superb. Well worth the time and a very faithful version of the novel.

Millennium

Looking back, I realise the first time I saw this film, I must have been around 6 yrs old and I didn't like it.

Really, didn't like it. I didn't get it?! but then time travel films always confused the heck outta me and this one can't have helped.

Plot: A jumbo jet from 1989 collides with another and results in the aviation accident fellas being brought in to investigate. Kris Kristofferson is the lead bloke, he meets the leading lady, Cheryl Ladd and they get it on. Then it turns out that there's something rather peculiar about our lady temptress, like, she came from the future in late 1980's special effects and changes her hair into blonde quiffs on far too many occasions. Ok, future folk, stealing past folk that would have died anyway...and stuff.

For around 45 minutes, you'd be forgiven for forgiving the failings of the film, because it looked like it was on the right track...then the 46th minute arrives, the 47th and so on. Not great, but you gotta love the human/robot, the wierd bloke in the wheelchair and the apparent lack of care taken in the future regarding chain smoking.

Made a whopping $5,777,000 at the box office!

Fun Fact: Four different directors signed up and left the project and in that time, the writer re-wrote the story 6 times.

The Car

More killer-vehical movies, this time, it's a rather large black muscle car with chrome and a distinct lack of driver.

Plot: James Brolin (Deputy Sheriff) lives in a small, dusty town with his two young daughters and his girlfriend. Happy, settled and enjoying a life of handing out parking tickets, until one day...
the entire town becomes a target for a car that revs its engine and honks its horn repeatedly before an ensuing attack. You only need wait 6.30mins for the first murder and the action never stops.

There have been quite a few films of this ilk, the previous review being an example, though not a great one.
The Car is pretty well acted, the direction is good and some of the dialogue is laughable because it's funny, a change from many others of the genre.

Budget: $ ?

Gross: $ ?

The critics panned the film, but I can only assume it's because they failed to enjoy it for what it was, malevolence gone rife...in a Lincoln Continental Mark III.

Fun Fact: The car was designed by George Barris, the fella that built the original Batmobile in the 60's and the Munster coach.

Killdozer

Yes, really. A film about a killer bulldozer!

Plot: A meteorite falls from space, impacting an island off the coast of Africa. As it happens, there's a construction team there levelling the beach for an oil drilling company. While 'dozing', one of the men touches the unearthed, blue glowing rock. He dies and the bulldozer absorbs the 'evil' powers of the meteor. Then it goes around 'dozing' people to death.

'Dozing' to death is the best term, considering the vehical can barely best 5mph and yet, it manages to 'off' the majority of the crew on the island.

This is one of the many maniacal motor movies, in the vein of The Car, Christine and Duel that came out in the mid 70's-early 80's...and with it being mercifully short (70 odd mins), it's just this side of tedious.

I'd love to meet the executive that 'green-lit' this project.

Fun Fact: Based on a 1944 story, where in the malevolent force originated from an underground temple, post WWII.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVBSGXj7HrM

Best of the Best

Just making it into the cult martial arts of the 1980's, Best of the Best is an action film comprising of all the elements the cold war and the 80's require.

Plot: Eric Roberts (Julia's much less talented brother) is a retired taekwondo dude, with a young son, who decides to have another crack at this beat-em-up stuff and joins the USA National side to fight Team Korea. That'd be fine, but Roberts has a gammy shoulder, there's a red-neck fella (Chris Penn-Reservoir Dogs), an angry, out for revenge for my brothers death fella, a buddhist and a tough fella from 'the streets'.

You know you want to watch this.

Don't get me wrong, it wouldn't be listed here if there weren't any redeaming features...er, er, er, oh yes!!!! It's got Darth Vader in it!

Gross: $1,700,000

Fun Fact: Small appearance by the maniacal nurse herself, Louise Fletcher (One Flew Over The Cukoo's Nest). Former UFC champ-Chuck Liddell says this is his favourite fightin' film.

Last Night

Plot: It's the last day on Earth.

You don't know why and thanks to some very adept film making, it doesn't matter. What matters is the individual reactions to this ending. David Cronenberg has taken it upon himself to call all the people his company provided power to and thank them (his assistant sticking around as she has a crush on the married man). Sandra Oh, Cronenbergs wife, (Grey's Anatomy) is out shopping for their last meal when her car is overturned and she can't get back in time to see him. Callum Keith Rennie (Battlestar Galactica, Californication) is trying to fit in all the sexual experiences he's ever wanted...including his mate, Don Mckellar (Director) and his former french teacher.

This film, set in Toronto, Canada, has an almost empty feel to it, as if the director had managed to take all the ambient joy out of the film and replace it by only what the actors bring...and it works extremely well.

Not always a fun film, but continually enthrawlling.

Budget: $2,300,000 (Canadian)

Fun Fact: An early role for Dawn of the Dead actress Sarah Polley. The film was voted 9th best Canadian film of all time...and this on Don Mckellar's debut.

Silver Bullett

Another of the Stephen King Stable of stories, this one starring Gary Busey (Point Break) and Corey Haim (Prayer of the Rollerboys, Lost Boys. R.I.P) with an appearance from Terry O'Quinn (Lost & West Wing).

Plot: Set in a quaint small town in America, where everyone likes everyone, murders begin occurring. Gruesome murders, heads flying off shoulders etc. Cue our hero, Corey Haim. On this occasion, Corey rides a suped up wheelchair, is around 11 years old and his uncle is Gary Busey. Not ya typical werewolf story, at least, not typical in that the hero is disabled.

Effects wise...so-so. Some of the transformation stuff is good, but at one point it looks like our bad guy is wearing a bear head or something equally rubbish.

Ok, not bad, no real zing to it, but the stand alone scene has to be when the fog engulfed lynch mob are attacked...watch out for the baseball bat, awesome!


Budget: $7,000,000

Gross: $12,361,563

Fun Fact: Gary Busey ad-libbed most of his lines, to the delight of the director, Daniel Attias and Stephen King. Don Coscarelli (Phantasm, Bubba Ho-Tep)was the original director, quitting when the were-wolf designs fell behind and progress stalled.

Prophecy

In 1979, John Frankeheimer directed this eco-horror staring Talia Shire (Rocky & The Godfather) and Armand Assante (Gotti & Judge Dredd).

Plot: Doctor in the ghetto and his concert cellist wife are tasked with mediating a dispute between loggers and Original People (American Indians) regarding their lands. As our doctor begins to investigate, he discovers a very large salmon, a tadpole the size of your fore arm, campers getting mauled to death and a whole lot more. There's also an irrate racoon and Armand Assante trying to be Indian.

Possible tagline...if you go down to the woods today, you're sure of a BIG surprise!

Budget: $12,000,000

Gross: $54,000,000

Fun Fact: Frankenheimer believed he failed to fully deliver on the promise of the book, mainly due to alcoholism...still made a fair bit o'change at the box office though.

Fright Night

Filmed in 1985, Fright Night is not a bad vampire movie...as long as you kinda bypass the most simple of scripts and move directly to the creature effects and possible, accidental homage to b-movies of the 1960s.

Plot: A vampire moves in next door to a horror movie fan and his mum. One night, the 17 year old hears a scream and is convinced he saw the vamp having a nibble. Police ain't interested, his mates are sceptical but Roddy Mcdowall-horror movie star, (Planet of the Apes, The Poseidon Adventure) might be able to help...after he's paid that is.

Gross: $24,922,237

Fun Fact: There's a sequel-Fright Night II and there's even (I say even, it was almost a forgone conclussion) a remake in 3D coming.

C.H.U.D

Cannibalistic.Humanoid.Underground.Dwellers.

How can you fail to see this film?!

Plot: A cop, a photographer, a journalist and an ex-con soup kitchen manager (Daniel Stern-Home Alone) uncover a race of creatures living and eating in the sewers and subways of New York City. Of course, there's a government cover up and lots of very good monster make up.

Oddly enough, this film actually carries it's own weight. Well acted, badly shot, well-ish written and given it's production date-1984, actually could have been a touch scary...at one point.

Budget: $1,250,000

Gross: $4,654,000

Fun Fact: The film sets up for the sequel-C.H.U.D.-Bud the C.H.U.D, starring Bianca Jagger and a cameo by Robert Englund. John Goodman makes a surprise appearance, pre-Roseanne. The script was largely re-written by the film's stars.

Poltergeist

1982 seems to have been a great year for cult films, Poltergeist is no exception.

Directed by horror icon, Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Crocodile) and produced by Steven Spielberg (you've probably never heard of this guy, not very popular you know), this is a breakthrough in ghost stories.

Plot: Young family moves into a new housing development, then odd things start to happen. Cutlery bends, chairs stack themselves and their little daughter begins hearing voices through the TV. As these 'happenings' persist, the large tree in the yard grabs their son and the girl is abducted through a portal in her closet. In come the ghostbusters! Not really them, but, you know, a little old lady and her helpers.

Moral of this story seems to be good rule of thumb for most people looking to but a new home, after you've checked for leaks, cracks and general damage...ask, does this house happen to sit on a cemetary?

Budget: $10,7000,000

Gross: $121,706,019

Two sequels, Poltergeist II-The Otherside and Poltergeist III, as well as a TV series- Poltergeist Legacy.

Fun Facts: The Curse of Poltergeist!!!! Four cast members died throughout the run of the films, including the little girl, Heather O'Rourke, who starred in all three films.

Blade Runner

In 1982, Ridley Scott adapted for the big screen, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, by cult sci-fi author, Philip K.Dick. He renamed it Blade Runner...and the rest is history. Really. Everyone knows this film. Even if they haven't seen it, they'll recognise scenes. Iconic.

Plot: Harrison Ford (clearly not had his fill of sci-fi) is Rick Deckard, a retired cop and Blade Runner, enlisted to 'retire' replicants, artificial humanoids, who believe they are in fact human. They don't go quietly, Rutger Hauer (Legend the of b-movie) and his platinum blonde hair are rather tough. Deckard also kinda falls for Sean Young, a possible replicant herself.

This is one of those futuristic sci-fi's that revels in the grim of over population and crime. The landscape and cityscape scenes alone make the film worthy of the repeated tweaks that have led to 7 different versions over the years.

Budget: $28,000,000

Gross: $32,868,943

Fun Facts: Over half of the companies advertised on the sides of the buildings have failed since the film was released, leading to a belief in a Blade Runner curse.

Altered States

Directed by Ken Russell and starring William Hurt, Altered States made use of one of the early surround sound technologies; Megasound, a devise, that once you've seen the film can understand the benefit of.

Plot: A scientist (William Hurt) becomes interested in the advantages of sensory deprevation tanks and begins searching for other similar experiences. To that end he is made aware of a Mexican tribe that uses mushrooms and other ingredients to illicit a dreamlike state. In addition to the tank, Hurt consumes the 'drug' and begins to regress to a primitive conciousness.

This is a sensory experience, both visually and audibly. It relishes throwing the audience headlong into metaphysical questions and sci-fi daydreams.

Budget: $15,000,000

Gross: $19,853.892

Fun Fact: This is the debut of a certain Drew Barrymore. Nominated for the 'Best Sound' award at the Academy that year, losing to Empire Strikes Back.

The Ice Pirates

Star Wars meets Dune meets Pirates of the Caribean meets...a robot pimp.

Filmed in 1984, hopping on that Sci-Fi band wagon, The Ice Pirates is really quite dire. Thing is, with cult films, especially the sci-fi variety, you kinda need to have witnessed their 'glory' in your formative years...hence why I'll never hear a bad thing said about Tremors.

Plot: The Templars control whats left of the Galaxies water supply, as a result, folk steal their shipments...Ice Pirates. Well, mid-theft, said pirates try to abduct a princess, but get caught, then escape, then go looking for a mythical planet with more water.

This film uses almost all the ideas that came before and except for the afore mentioned 'pimp-bot', there's little to entice a new viewer...maybe the rather saucy line 'Ooooh, it's so hard?!'

Fun Fact: Co-stars Anjelica Huston and Ron Perlman.

Demon Seed

There's one reason to watch this film...Insemination. For that scene alone, this is worth the watch...that and the ribbed devise, don't ask, just watch.

Don't get me wrong, it has almost no artistic merit whatsoever, but there in lies the fun in these films.

Polt: Released in 1977, this MGM feature starred Julie Christie (Don't Look Now) as a therapist who lives in a computer controlled house and is married to/seperated from the man responsible for the creation of the world's first A.I. (Robert Vaughn-The man from U.N.C.L.E). So, the computer goes all crazy about the 'rape of the Earth', yep, that's it's reason; then rapes Julie Christie and has a baby. Pretty much as you'd guess it'd go.

Budget: $?

Fun Fact: Written by Dean Koontz

Slumber Party Massacre

This 1982 'Slasher' film is right on the money. It has all the ridiculous you could want...and teen girls in nightgowns, bouncing around.

Plot: Crazed bloke escapes from prison and kills teenagers with a power drill. Lucky for him, there's an abundance of victims at a slumber party.

Watch out for the stand alone best scene, pizza anyone?

Budget: $250,000

Good line for the series, the drills get bigger and the chicks get hotter.

Fun Fact: Written by feminist Rita Mae Brown and directed by Amy Holden Jones, a complete contrast to the male driven genre and a great tribute too. Three sequels followed; Slumber Party Massacre II (again, female directed-Deborah Brock and produced by Roger Corman), Slumber Party Massacre III and Cheerleader Massacre.

Ghoulies

Plot: Son of a Satan worshiper inherits a dilapidated mansion, invites his mates around for a party, does some Satany stuff and low and behold, "little people" arrive and mini monsters that look a bit like demented, inbred Critters. People get bitten and there's even a touch of good vs bad lightning action.

It's not a great film, really, it's not, but there's some good bits. Look out for a very amorous milf who gives great tongue.

Budget: $1,000,000

Gross: $35,000,000 (yep, really)

Fun Fact: Originally called Beasties and shot in 1983, not released until 1985 as Ghoulies. Sequels; Ghoulies II (1988), Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College (1991) and Ghoulies IV (1994). Jeffrey Combs even auditioned for a role.

Alligator

Films that earn cult status do so for many reasons, the primary one being that they stand the test of time. In some way the film still has that special something, Alligator does.

Plot: A little girl gets a pet alligator, her father doesn't like it and flushes the little reptile. Ten years later, little Al is not so little. Turns out a research laboratory has been experimenting with growth hormones on puppies and has been dumping them in the Chicago sewers, where Al now resides. Al now measures a not inconsiderable 36 feet in length. Various sewage workers go missing and detective Maddison (Robert Forster-Medium Cool, Jackie Brown) starts to investigate. Along the way he meets a reptile specialist, who also happens to be the grown up girl who owned the alligator.

Fun, fun, fun for all the family. The alligator effects and models really stand the test and his voracious appetite only adds to the enjoyment.

Budget: $1,500,000

Fun Fact: Screenwriter John Sayles also wrote Piranha.

Big Wednesday

Based on director/co-writer John Milius's own experiences, this film is the inspiration for Point Break, which also stars Gary Busey.

Plot: Three friends, Gary Busey, Jan-Michael Vincent and William Katt are surfer bums in the 1960's. Partying at the beach, very Monkees style, meeting girls and fooling around, then the Vietnam War comes along and the coming of age story becomes an examination of the merits and morality of war.

A superb film in many ways, not least for some iconic cinematography.

Budget: $11,000,000

Fun Fact: Narrated by Freddy Kruger himself, Robert Englund.

Christine

Stephen King is a funny fella. He's written a slew of iconic horror stories, sometimes directed by himself, usually not, thank goodness. This time, it's the master of horror, John Carpenter!

Plot: Christine is a red and white Plymouth Fury car. We initially see her coming off the assembly line in the late 1950's and she wastes no time. She's rather a mischievous girl. Already miffed from birth, she kills one of the factory workers. The years roll by and she ends up in a yard as a rusting, old, beat up beast...until she's rescued by a geeky kid. They bond, they kill, they have fun...what's not fun about a devilish car that kills the folk you hate?

Budget: $9,700,000

Gross: $21, 017,849

Fun Fact: Alexandra Paul (Baywatch chick) is the girlfriend. Music, as ever, by John Carpenter too.

Danger Diabolik

Filmed in 1968 and based on an Italian comic book character.

Plot: Danger Diabolik stars John Phillip Law (Barbarella) as Diabolik, a thief who has stolen over the years, a fortune from the Italian government. He has a 1960's hide out, that means its all psychedelic, he has a pimped out Jaguar car and a rather attractive lady friend...there's even a revolving bed. It's Robin Hood meets James Bond meets SuperFly...in black leather.

This film simply throws every 1960's trick and look at the film.

Fun Fact: Music by spaghetti western guru, Ennio Morricone. The film was also a major influence on Roman Coppola's (Francis's boy- brother of Sofia) film, CQ.

Popcorn

Shot in 1991, but you'd be forgiven for thinking it was an early 80's flick, Popcorn is a fun horror.

Plot: A newly created film deptartment at a university is lacking funds, to raise said cash, they hold a horror festival, one night only at a soon to to demolished movie theatre, showing films in smell-o-vision and 3D. While leafing through set props the film students discover a reel that dipicts a rather disturbed cult leader. We learn he tried to kill his entire family as performance art. All the wile, the perky girl (there's always one) has odd dreams and thinks she's connected to the mad man. Then there's some people killed, etc.

Great facial prosthethics, there's a giant mosquito and some good individual scenes. It could have been darker, but who needs that when you've got left over 80's trash.

Budget: $?, can't have been much.

Gross: $4,205,000

Fun Fact: Small role for Dee Wallace-Stone (The Howling, Cujo, E.T.). This film was shot entirely in Jamaica, which might explain the oddity which is the reggae band appearing throughout the feature.

Phantasm

Cult, yes. Good, no.

While this series of films (four in total, all directed by Don Coscarelli-Beastmaster and Bubba Ho-Tep) found it's way into the horror hall of fame, it's for feeble reasons.

Plot: Undertaker (the Tall Man) goes around shrinking dead folk and turning them into his dwarf, zombie slaves, to be transported back to his home world. A young lad and his elder brother investigate. There's also this silver, flying ball (bit like the target ball in StarWars) with spikes that kills folk.

Budget: $300,000

Gross: $11,988,469 (it boggles the mind how this film could be so successful)

Fun Fact: If you're in the need to get a few answers from this rather blotchy storyline, the sequels are Phantasm II, Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead and Phantasm IV: Oblivion...enjoy?

Saturn 3

In 1980, Martin Amis writes a screenplay for a sci-fi feature, starring Kirk Douglas, Farrah Fawcett and Harvey Keitel...sadly, it sucks!

Plot: Two scientists (Douglas and Fawcett) work in Eden-like peace on a food research station near Saturn, as the Earth is running low on supplies. Keitel arrives to beef up the operation but falls for Fawcett and starts to covert her. There's a robot with a human brain and it goes nuts and Douglas gets miffed and generally this is a badly made, badly directed, very badly acted film.

Budget: $10,000,000

Gross: $?

Fun Fact: Keitel's voice was dubbed in post as his Bostonion accent was too strong. The budget was also reduced by the production company, who were working on Raise The Titanic at the time.

The Howling

Ok, so it's 1981, Joe Dante is yet to make Gremlins (though he's done Piranha) and werewolf movies are becoming previlent. As such, here's one that seems to instinctively ignore story line and rely quite heavily in adequate special effects.

Plot: A female news reporter (Dee Wallace- Cujo, Critters, etc) receives commuication for an alleged serial killer (Robert Picardo- the hologram in Star Trek Voyager, though a touch hairer in this film), so she arranges to meet him (for coffee or juice of whatever the Americans do in these films), then he's killed, she's traumatized and takes a weeks leave in a colony, run by a therapist (Patrick Macnee- The Avengers). There's all these other folk and they're wierd...can you guess where this is going?

The sfx are a mixture of latext, stop motion and thermal imaging. Used too sparingly in this reviewers opinion. You kinda have to stick with this film, as the first of the wolves only shows up after 45mins. The transformation is great and lasts ages...probably best to just skip to the last 30 minutes or so. Great ending though!

Budget: $1,000,000

Gross: $17,985,893

Fun Fact: Film maker Roger Corman makes a cameo appearance and yes, there are 6 sequels and possibly another on the way.

Innerspace

Released in 1987, directed by Joe Gremlins Dante and starring Dennis Quaid, Meg Ryan and Martin Short, Innerspace is a homage to the 1966 classic story, The Fantastic Voyage.

Plot: A pilot (Dennis Quaid) and his pod are shrunken to microscopic size and ready to be injected into a rabbit, then naughty folk break into the lab, intent on stealing the microchips that make the process possible. However, the lead scientist retrieves the syringe and accidentally injects a grocery clerk (Martin Short). The pilot is able to communicate with the clerk and they go to find Quaid's ex (Meg Ryan). All the while the bad guys are chasing em, then there's this other pod injected into the clerk and his immune system starts fighting, as do the two pilots.

It's one of those ridiculous films from the 80's that you can't help but adore. There's twist and turn after turn.

Budget: $ Dunno?

Gross: $25,893,810

Fun Fact: Won Best Visual Effects at the Academy Awards in 1988.

Assault on Precinct 13

Yet another of the John Carpenter back catalogue makes it onto the site.

Obviously remade, as any and all successful films seem to be (on this occasion in 2005 with Ethan Hawke and Lawrence Fishburne), Assault on Precinct 13 is a gutteral movie.

Plot: A police station on the edges of Los Angeles is closing it's doors for the last time, due for demolition. A newly promoted Lieutenant takes over the duties for the final night. As he grows accustomed to his new surroundings and limited staff, a prisoner transport bus makes a detour from their destined route to prison following a convicts illness. On board happens to be the baddest bloke ever (supposedly), Napoleon Wilson. While this is going on it seems the gang populous of L.A. has pooled it's resources, joined together and begun a rampage of murder and mayhem...can the police handle it?

Budget: $100,000

Fun Fact: One of the lead actors, Darwin Joston, was in fact John Carpenter's next door neighbour.