The Food of the Gods

Directed by Bert I.Gordon (Empire of the Ants) and utilising back projection to emphasise the creatures, this film follows along the same theme as the afore mentioned and reviewed film, this time using some odd, white gloop instead of Toxic Waste.

Plot: Taking a break from the Professional Football season, three fellas pop off to a random island to enjoy a spot of hunting, horse riding and general malarky...ing. Little do they know, that on said island, the food of the Gods (the white gloop) has been discovered by a farmer and his wife and subsequently fed to their chickens. Cue the biggest Cock you ever saw (Chicken joke). Unfortunately, it's not only the chickens that took advantage of this new found nectar. Wasps and big, f*ck-off rats are on the war path.

It's down to the football "jock", a pregnant couple, the farm owner and a greedy businessman to save themselves and stop this "stuff" eeking out into the world.

Tagline: "One taste is all it takes"

Budget: $?

Gross: $?

Fun Fact: The film was "based on a part of an H.G. Wells story".

Empire of the Ants

Ooooh, deary me.

Plot: Based (I imagine fairly loosely on a H.G.Wells story), a land developer (Joan Collins) takes a group of would-be investors to a coastal area of the Florida Everglades, to imagine what their lives might be if they invested in a soon to be constructed resort. The only problem with this ideal life-style, there happen to be a butt-load of giant ants living on the island too. It's not Joan's fault, she didn't know. Turns out, a rather ham-fisted toxic waste dumping scene at the beginning of the film and a trashy docu-style voice over are to blame.

So, on the run, battling (or at least flailing their arms and screaming a lot), Joan and the investors must find safe haven.

Good luck.

There are one or two giant ants, a least, there are one or two giant heads, antennae and legs, but the shaky camera work does everything it can to avoid using actual, real special effects. This film relies heavily on close-ups.

Budget: $?

Gross: $?

Fun Fact: In Joan Collin's autobiography, she referenced Empire of the Ants as her worst acting experience. The director was also the screenplay writer, producer and SFX fella. Me thinks he pushed himself a tad too far.

The Abominable Snowman

When searching for a Yeti, there's something to keep in mind...they may not want to be found.

Plot: Peter (Legend) Cushing, his wife and his buddy are visiting scientists, exploring the Himalayan regions and staying with the most Western looking Lama you ever did see, when an American "explorer" and his team happen upon the monastery and seek to involve Mr Cushing in their adventure. Turns out, they're after a big hairy fella, said to live in the wilderness and need the help of a bona fide expert- which Mr Cushing just so happens to be.

Well, despite strong objections from his Mrs and the crazy, Western looking Lama, Mr Cushing and the Yanks head off in search of their prey.

Any who, you can imagine where the story goes from here.

Yes, It's a Hammer Production.

No, it doesn't look cheap. Well, not always.

The cinematography, using the French Pyrenees for the Himalayas was in fact very well shot. The use of Hammerscope (Regalscope- widescreen lens format) gave the landscape the power required for the feature.

Budget: £? (produced by a member of the Barings Bank Family though)

Gross: £?

Fun Fact: The monastery sets were later re-used in the Fu Manchu series of films Hammer produced.     

But I'm a Cheerleader

What's a girl to do when she's "outed" by her family and friends?

Plot: Megan (Natasha Lyonne) is a pretty, happy and indeed, pretty-happy girl. She's a cheerleader. She has numerous friends. She even has a boyfriend (cue some very slobbery kissing). Then one day, she returns home from school to find her nearest and dearest have convened an intervention. They are convinced she's a homosexual and to that end, something must be done.

Megan is shipped off to a conversion therapy camp. Where she will learn to curb these base desires, to change her outlook and generally, to be more the mummy and daddy's girl everyone seems to want.

Negative reports regarding the stylization of the film, the acting and the often stereotypical portrayals simply serve to embarrass. This is a film that at the very heart of it, is some real emotion and support. The actors, initially seem stunted and lazy, but you need to stick with this one, enjoy the humour, appreciate the performances and laugh at the outright absurdity.

Definitely a film to be watched.

Budget: $1,000,000

Gross: $2,595,216

Fun Fact: Look out for a brilliant turn by RuPaul as an "ex-gay" councillor.