American Flyers

In 198...something, Kevin Costner wasn't KEVIN COSTNER. Kevin Costner was an actor on his way up (actually only two years away from the lead role in The Untouchables), mainly because that's the way you go when you can't get much lower. That being said, he made this film. It's all about the Tour de France...sorry, sorry, I mean whatever the equivalent in America may be.

Plot: Two brothers (one terminally ill) go on a bicycle ride through the Colorado Rocky mountains and race against a whole load of other riders too.

This film's one of my guilty pleasures...read into that what you will.

Fun Fact: Jennifer Grey (Dirty Dancing) has a bit part and Alexandra Paul's in it too (the average looking one from Baywatch).

Bubba Ho-tep

One of the more recent cult films to be reviewed on this blog, Bubba Ho-tep is a delight from beginning to middle to end.

Starring Bruce 'the chin' Campbell (see earlier Evil Dead review) as The King (that's Elvis to you non believers), retired from the limelight, having swapped places as the height of his success with a doppelganger and ended up in a shady retirement home for the clearly, mentally deranged. I say this only because Bruce happens to share accommodation with JFK, played by Ossie Davis (Ossie happens to be a man of colour, JFK, if I remember rightly, wasn't, although Ossie explains this away masterfully).

So, The King and JFK hang out and one day, on its tour of the south lands of the US of A, a truck, carrying a container with a rather dried out old Egyptian Mummy inside, bucks a road and it's set loose. Cue the greatest of all slow-mo scenes, involving an aged rock star with a zimmer frame, an aged president in a motorized wheelchair and an even more aged mummy. Let battle commence.

Wonderful! 


Budget: $1,000,000

Fun Fact: Bubba Nosferatu: Curse of the She-Vampires is due for release soon...ish.

The Terminator

I can't see it being very popular really. I mean, come on?!

Plot: Bloke pops back from the future in a blue spherical light, naked, then goes around beating people up, stealing clothes and developing what can only be seen as a real reason for a restraining order, when he begins stalking an array of permed, 1980's ladies, who all happen to be named Sarah Connor.
As obsessions go, you'd think one lady, one stalker'd be enough...wrong! Another bloke pops back, this fella happens to just be interested in one of the Sarah's in the LA phone book, the one with a moped and a pet Lizard.

Did I mention that the first bloke is a robot, with skin and he's Arnold Schwarzenegger? Sorry, must have forgotten that bit.

So, you've all seen it, so what, watch it again!

Below is one of my favourite 1980's film posters, wonderful mainly in the cheap and nasty aspect of it.

Budget: $6,500,000
Gross: $78,371,200

Fun Fact: Number one in the cinema charts until it's third week, when the "classic" Oh, God! You Devil (Starring the cigar aficionado, George Burns) took it's place.

  

The Straight Story

In as far an opposite direction as this blog is capable, I here by present a David Lynch/Walt Disney production (based on a true story) about a bloke on a lawn mower, traveling half the continental United States to see his brother.

Alvin (Richard Farnsworth), an elderly WWII veteran, living at home with his mentally handicapped daughter (Sissy 'i love to bathe in blood' Spacek), hears that his equally elderly and estranged brother Lyle (Harry Dean Stanton) has suffered a stroke. Realizing that this may very well be his last opportunity to put past quarrels to bed, Alvin (not having a drivers license and/or car) sets out to fix up his trusty John Dere lawnmower and pop over two rather larger states (Iowa and Wisconsin-approx 240 miles) and say good by.

David Lynch isn't renowned for this kind of feel good film, but his talent lends itself perfectly. Richard Farnsworths' performance as Alvin is flawless, not least for the fact the actor was terminally ill with bone cancer all through production and had even lost the power of his legs.

Fun Fact: Richard Farnsworth was nominated for the Best Actor Oscar at the age of 80, for his portrayal of this role...the oldest actor ever. The film was also nominated for Best Feature at the Cannes Film Festival.

The Exorcist

I damn near wet myself when I first saw this film...I still often feel the need to relieve myself when viewing it even now...at 31 yrs.

Max Von Sydow (Ming the Merciless) is one of them religious sorts...Priests I think they're called. So, Max hears about this girl, she's about ten ish, seems to have a tendency to swivel her head (all the way around-odd really), is clearly not a fan of pea green soup (given her capacity for regurgitation) and is able to contort her body to the point she can descend stairs backwards and inverted...bravo!

I kid you not, this is a wonderfully...scary film!

Standing, even now as the most profitable horror film of all time, a budget of $12-15,000,000 can easily be justified when the studio reaps returns of over half a billion dollars. There are numerous sequels, as you might imagine...I urge you to give 'em a miss, really not worth it. Stick to the cult classic.

Fun Fact: Mike Oldfield did the music. The cinemas also provided 'barf bags' for viewers...just in case.

An American Werewolf in London

Fresh off the back of The Blues Brothers, director John Landis created this charming story of wildlife on the Yorkshire Moors. Sadly, the wildlife in this feature is really rather wild.

Two American tourists pop over to Britain and take a wander through the countryside. Unbeknownst to them, there happens to be a little case of Lycanthropy in the nations largest county and unfortunately for them, it's contagious through nibbling...on them. So, eventually, the surviving Yank ends up in London and there's the title for ya.

To give you a clue as to how phenomenal the Special effects/Make up are in this film, the Academy Awards committee created the 'Outstanding Achievement in Makeup' award, especially for effects guru Rick Baker in 1981.

Budget: $10,000,000
Gross: $30,565,292

The Evil Dead

In 1981, a horror film emerged from the woods with the power to scare all who viewed it. It was dark, mysterious, spooky and ominous...but that wasn't what scared the public, No! The most terrifying element of this feature was the lead actors chin!!!!

Plot: The Evil Dead tells the story of a fella ( the cult legend that is Bruce 'the chin' Cambpell ) and his four mates, who head off to a rickety old cabin, somewhere deep in the woods. Once they arrive they find an evil book (not the same one in the Care Bears movie, but I imagine pretty close) and a tape recording of the spells inside said book. Game for a laugh, someone presses PLAY...then there's all this Demon stuff that happens...

Fun Fact: The film took the better part of a year and a half to finish, what with it being low budget and all. All the actors quit long before the end, with stand-ins being used for completion...all except Bruce Campbell (now there's a dedicated bloke). Assistant editing was by Joel Coen.

There's even a Musical version! Check out this link; http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en&v=NeLUi_20Nrg&gl=US

Dazed and Confused

Directed by Richard Linklater (Before Sunrise & Before Sunset) and with a host, a HOST I say, of stars, this feature captures the final days of a group of senior high-school students and the resulting 1970's madness that ensues during their first 'free' evening.

I think the best way to describe this feature is to reference it to you and your nights. I'll ask the question, did you ever have one of those nights, I mean all night long, that felt like it was still, like the events of that night were yours and would last forever? A night where you and your mates did something crazy and or scary, your heart pounded and it lives on in infamy with you all? An evening where you cemented your lifelong bond to said friends (through embarrassment or 'legendary' act). Where you drank for the first time? Or where you met that girl and you've never been able to forget her?

Well, this film is that night.

Bolstered by the creme-de la creme of film soundtracks (Alice Cooper, The Runaways, ZZ Top, Lynyrd Skynyrd, KISS, Black Sabbath and so many more!) and the discovery of 'talent' such as Matthew McConaughey and supported by Adam Goldberg (Two Days in Paris), Milla 'show me the zombies' Jovovich, Ben Affleck (no? me neither) and Parker Posey (A Mighty Wind), this film brings all the ingredients together to create a superb experience.

Fun Fact: Quentin Tarantino placed Dazed and Confused on his 12 greatest films list in 2002.

Line of the film: "That's what I love about these high school girls, man, I get older, they stay the same age".

Dawn of the Dead

Now, ordinarily I'd review the first in a series of cult films/sequels...on this occasion I've opted for the second, the Dawn.

A legend in everything zombie, George Romero (father of the zombie genre) brought us this scathing statement on consumerism in 1970's America and the World.

Like all zombie films, the story starts or continues, following the trail of a rag-tag group of holocaust survivors and their search for a zombie/infection free haven...cue the discovery of the quintessentially American institution...The MALL!!!!

A mecca for all that is commerce and decadence (in the late 1970's), the Mall provides security (doors and high walls), fun (arcades and shopping) and quite a bit of food. Sadly, this escape proves dull with time and  inevitably leads to conflict and the arrival of other people.

Unlike modern, flight of foot zombies, Romero's creatures are true to the stereotype (lurching) and slow to capture their prey, but given his purest nature, Romero's 'things' make short work of their prey once caught (a tip of the hat to Tom Savini-a cult in himself and cameo as the biker leader) in typically gory fashion.    

Budget: 500,000
Gross: 55,000,000

Fun Fact: Dario Argento (the Italian horror/gore legend) did some of the music and was instrumental (ha ha) in gaining funding for this sequel.

The Big Lebowski

At the end of the last century, cinema took a turn, it went a little to the left and just kept on going...

as such, we now have a generation of people obsessed with the 'religion' of The Dude!

This particular Coen brothers opus is singularly responsible for a vast up shoot in the sales of 'White Russian' cocktails. 

Told initially in narration by Sam Elliot, we are introduced to Jeffrey Lebowski, or as we will soon come to love him...The Dude, a man who allows nothing to hurry, influence or disturb his love of the slow life, albino beverages and bowling.

I won't be delving further into a review of this film, simply because to do so would only detract from an 'experience' all should enjoy. 

If you haven't seen it, I'm surprised, but I also envy you. Thankfully, repeated viewings of this masterpiece do nothing to dwindle or diminish this thrill.

Cast: Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, Peter Stormare, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Tara Reid.

Line of the film? "I told those fucks down at the league office thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos!" 

Major League

From Charlie Sheen to Corbin Bernsen and Wesley Snipes to Tom Berenger, this baseball debacle has a world of fun (they play the 'World Series'...get it?!).

So, the Cleveland Indians have just lost their owner and his death has passed management onto his Vegas, Showgirl wife, who decides that the local climate is rather dour for her and promises to get the gate receipts sooooo low, that she can re-locate to Miami! To do this, she needs players, bad players, really bad players. Charlie Sheen (Wild Thing), a minor league convicted felon, Corbin Bernsen, a one time good player (bit of a girl now though), Tom Berenger, the nearly ran guy and Wesley Snipes, the fast talkin', fast runnin' bloke, all set out to prove the owner, the city and the press wrong and win the league!

It's also got the president from 24 in it (as a voodoo bloke)...awesome!

I always quite enjoyed this film. Silly, yes. Failure, no.

Budget: $11,000,000
Gross: $49,797,148

Fun Fact: This film spawned two sequels, all three films starring Corbin Bernsen and Dennis Haysbert (president 24 fella)...and yes, I've seen 'em all!

Little Shop of Horrors

My favourite musical...just after The Blues Brothers.

One day, in a the borough of Skid Row-New York City, a terrible threat to human existence is discovered by a young man named Seymour, who works in a florists...the threat? A PLANT! Dun dun durrrrrrrr!

So, this little plant (Audrey II) looks a lot like a chubby Venus Fly-trap, except, it eats more than flies...like people and stuff. It also talks and sings (voiced by Levi Stubbles, of Four Tops fame)...well!

Based on the off Broadway musical of the same name and in its second film outing, this film features the creme de la creme of comedy performers; Steve Martin (particularly iconic as a sadistic dentist), Bill Murray (as a masochistic patient of said dentist), John Candy (Disc Jockey) and Christopher Guest, to name but a few.

Budget: Directed by Yoda (Frank Oz), shot on the Albert (Cubby) Broccoli stage at Pinewood studios (England) for around $30,000,000, this version dwarfs the 1960's, Roger Corman effort by a good $29,970,000.

Fun Fact: Steven Spielberg was going to produce and Martin Scorsese direct...in 3D. Check out Youtube for alternate endings.

Gremlins

The rules are as follows;

1) Don't get 'em wet (they don't like to bathe-hair gets all matted and stuff)
2) Don't feed 'em after midnight (that's local time, lets not get silly and start thinking about international zones etc.)
3) Don't let 'em out in the sun (even factor 30 won't help their tanning allergies)

So, one day in Kingston Falls, an inventor chap arrives home with a gift for his grown son, it's like a cross between a Care Bear, a cat and a Hamster...a Mogwai. It's very cute! Has a lovely singing voice too. Only problem being (or three), 1-it multiplies, 2-it changes into a skinny, nasty version and 3-it burns in daylight. All told, it's high maintenance for anyone. Probably why no one has one, except for the old Chinese dude at the beginning of the flick.

Cult doesn't quite cover this installment of 1980's cinema, spawning a sequel with Christopher Lee as a mad scientist, how can you go wrong?!

Budget: $11,000,000
Gross: $153,083,102

Fun Fact: A third is being heavily considered, in 3D and or CGI.

Society

This horror film seeks to make a clear statement on 'Society' in a similar way the earlier reviewed, They Live does.

Directed by Brian Yuzna (Bride of Re-Animator & Beyond Re-Animator) and starring Billy Warlock (the small weedy Baywatch bloke, the one you couldn't imagine getting any girls, but got to hang out with Pamela Anderson et al) as the son of a wealthy family, overlooked despite his school boy popularity and who is constantly reassured by his father, mother, sister and therapist that one day, he will make a valuable contribution to 'Society'.

Very enjoyable, on the same scale as Stuff and other vague horrors from the 1980's, that while often being unoriginal, occasionally manage to find that accidental niche and captivate the cult/b-movie fan base.

Fun Fact: Special effects (which are superb!-winner of 'best make-up' at the 1990 Brussels International Festival of Fantasy Film) by Screaming Mad George.
Also, a flop in the US, well received in Europe.

Starchaser-Legend of Orin 3D

Now, whether you embraced this animated, Sci-fi, Star Wars veiled parody/homage in full on 1985, 3D majesty or, as I did, in regular terrestrial analogue, this film is quite the treat.

As one of the first films to mix traditional animation and computer, this feature follows the lives of a society of slaves, mining for red crystals in the bowels of a mutant world. One day, a young man named Orin happens to come across the hilt to a sword (Think Light Saber) buried in the ore, who's blade is all shiny and magical. He decides to use it to slaughter some of the guards and escape to the surface, then slaughter some mutants (Human/robot things), then take off to see the Universe in a space ship with a fella that's a bit like Han Solo.

Ignore the huge rip off, watch it as a 3D treat (I would if I could find that version) and revel in the delight that is 80's Sci-fi!

Fun Fact: The first animated 3D feature, spending a whole 17 days in the cinemas.

  

Monster Squad

One day in every century, the forces of good and evil are in alignment...on that day, evil will rise.

The Good- a gang of kids and Van Helsing (Scary German Guy).

The Bad- Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster (Frankie), The Mummy, an amphibious Gill-man and a Were-wolf.

No Ugly...well, some ugly.

Think Stand by Me meets The Goonies...with monsters

A rather large flop (see below), although given the subject matter and the legion of fans, Cult status was assured.

Budget: $12,000,000
Gross: $3,769,990

Fun Fact: the remake is currently in production...what a surprise.

Battle Beyond the Stars

Here's another one of those films off the 80's Sci-fi production line.

Based very heavily on Seven Samurai, this feature follows the adventures of a rag tag group of mercenaries, recruited to do battle with an evil invader and save a pacifist planet.

Produced by Roger Corman, this one happens to have George Peppard (A-Team), Robert Vaughn (The Man from U.N.C.L.E & The Towering Inferno), John Saxon (Enter the Dragon) and Richard Thomas (The Waltons)...meaning that is where all the budget went. The visuals are bog standard at best and the sound effects are directly lifted from Star Wars (the open door sound being used as engine ignition noise).

It's a B-movie because it's by Roger Corman and it's simply because it is so tragic that it gets this write up.

Budget: $2,000,000
Gross: $11,000,000 +

Fun Fact: a prequel comic book, based on the adventures of an elderly character (similar to Obi-Wan Kenobi) is in production.

Care Bears-The Movie

Truly tragic!

I'm not kidding.

Having seen this film (based on the hugely successful TV series) as a child, I felt I might be able to review it based entirely on memory...to my infinite sadness, I could not. As such, I watched it the other day, for the first time in over twenty years and strangely enough, not for only the second time. I seem to remember viewing this monstrosity of a children's film at least three times as a deluded child.

I say watch...view in terror is a much more accurate description and when I say view, I'll be honest, I bearly (bearly, ha haaa) made it past the ten minute mark and then swiftly jumped through scene after scene and onto the delightful end, delightful only because it was the end.

If you have failed to notice the tone of this review then I sentence you to 76 minutes, being tortured by Mickey Rooney and his Care Bear chums.

It's a dire film.

The quick, quick review...here goes...

Care Bears (bears with symbols in their chests-like rainbows that fire out and infect folk), live in the clouds (the kingdom of 'Care-a-lot') and pop down to the land to do good things. Very sweetness and light, then they come across an evil magic book and have to fight.

Bad, bad, baaaaaaaaad!

Budget: $2,000,000
Gross: (dear God how?!) $22,934,662

Fact (not fun): Care Bears II-The New Generation grossed $8,540,346, followed by the third film- Care Bears- Adventure in Wonderland, the forth, Care Bears- Journey to Joke-a-Lot, the fifth- The Care Bear's Big Wish Movie (tag line- 'It's the all new movie you've been waiting for'), the sixth film- Care Bears Oopsy Does It! and the seventh (shot in 2007), Care Bears- Share Bear Shines.

The Blues Brothers

"...ya get ma cheese whip boy?!"

Just one of the many superb lines that The Blues Brothers has left for cinematic posterity.

Starring Dan Ackroyd (Elwood Blues) and John Belushi (Jake Blues), as two brothers, raised in an orphanage, on blues music by Cab Calloway, tormented by the mother superior running the religious home and destined for a life as performers and prison dwellers.

The opening scene spells out the temperature of the film, focusing on the release of "Joliet" Jake Blues from prison and his collection at the gate by his brother, in a retired police car.

Included in this Cult of cult films are, the (until very recently) biggest car chase/crash scene in cinema history, Carrie Fisher, John Candy, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Ray Charles, John Lee Hooker, Chaka Khan (soloist in Brown's choir), Sherman Tanks, Bazooka fire and M16 machine gun fire (both by Fisher), Twiggy, Pee-Wee Herman (Pre-Pee-Wee), Frank Oz (Yoda), Kathleen Freeman, a Picasso statue and even a cameo from Steven "the all powerful" Spielberg.

Filmed in 1980, on a budget of $27,000,000 by director John Landis (National Lampoon's Animal House & Spies Like Us), this musical, romped home to a staggering $115,229,890 at the box office.

Fun Fact: John Landis worked as Assistant Director on Kelly's Heroes.

Harvey

Coasting happily between the worlds of classic and cult, Harvey is without doubt one of the films that should be recommended to the seriously depressed. A cure for all that ails ya!

Starring James Stewart (Legend) as Elwood P.Dowd, a very happy, contented and eccentric man, living with his sister (Josephine Hull) and her daughter, and it just so happens, has a Pooka for a friend.

A Pooka is a benign yet mischievous creature from Celtic mythology, able to take many different forms...on this occasion, a rabbit, white, 6' 3.5" tall and named Harvey...he's also only visible to those whom it wants to be, those that want to believe.

Naturally, this 'mental issue' that Elwood 'suffers', causes stress for both his sister and niece, given their struggles to reach the upper levels of society and promptly, they incarcerate him in the local sanatorium.

The beauty of this film is firmly routed in it's imagination. Simplicity (no effects), joy, comedy and realization that more-over, just a smile is enough.

Fun Fact: Best Actress Award-Josephine Hull, 1950 Academy Awards, Best Actor Nomination-James Stewart.