Motel Hell

"How would you like it if someday, I taught you the ancient art of meat smoking"?

Line of the film! I kid you not.

Plot: An aged fella and his disturbed sister run a motel in the south of America (where else?) on a meat farm. Farmer Vincent (our kindly old chap) prides himself on his preservative free product...human jerky! dun dun duuuuuu.

Yep, I know, ya saw that coming a mile away, but it's worth the watch, because there are a few nasty surprises and for the awesome innuendo in that afore mentioned scriptwriting. Gotta also ignore the gaping plot errors and the fact that the motel is a pale Psycho homage or straight rip off...and they barely use it.

Budget: $3,000,000

Gross: $6,342,668

Fun Fact: A remake has been touted.

Pumpkinhead

In his first foray into directing, special effects maestro Stan Winston created this monster film in 1988, but oddly didn't do the sfx.

Plot: In the back woods of the south USA, a group of guys and gals go for a fun weekend in the country. Pulling up to a fruit stand, they decide it's time to take the motor-cross bikes for a whirl. As a result, they accidentally run down the owners little boy and kill him, running away as the guilty party is on parole. The angered father- Lance Henriksen (Aliens, AVP) seeks revenge from an aged women, in the form of a resurrected demon called Pumpkinhead.

This is a film designed to scare. It isn't one of those 80's horrors that floods its storyline with bad jokes and makes light of the situation, it revels in the fear it emotes. The effects are actually very good. Yes, it's a guy in a monster costume, but it's a damn good costume.

Gross: $4,385,516

Fun Fact: Based on a poem by Ed Justin, kind of an evil nursery rhyme. Sequels include Pumpkinhead II: Blood Wings, Pumpkinhead 3: The Original Sin, Pumpkinhead: Ashes to Ashes and Pumpkinhead: Blood Feud.  

Cyborg

Brace yourselves people, because this is one of, if not the only film of the great JCVD's career where-in, wait for it...he doesn't show his bare arse! I know?! Amazing huh.

Plot: In a post-apocalyptic world, ravaged by plague, the remaining few doctors think they have a cure. The tricky part being that this is a rather harsh world and they need to surgically alter a person to act as a storage device/courier (that's not JCVD) and reclaim the information from New York and take it to Atlanta. To get there, she's gonna need a little help, that's JC's department. Of course he gets his ass kicked, a lot, but he eventually gets her to her destination, only to face a battle to the death with another cyborg, this one's a touch more butch though.

Budget: $500,000

Gross: $10,166,459

Fun Fact: This film was written as a basic outline over a weekend, intended for Chuck 'the fist' Norris. One of the actors actually lost an eye when a wayward kick from JCVD collided with his face. As a result, JC had to fork out $485,000, nearly more than the budget of the film!

Oh, another great fact...the sequel, Cyborg 2, stars Jack Palance, Elias Koteas and Angelina Jolie.

Lifeforce

Right, 1985, Tobe Hooper (Poltergeist, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) directs a space vampire film. Those statements in themselves should set alarm bells ringing. Ringing in a joyful manner that is, because Lifeforce is fun for all the family, if they happen to be over 18 and fans of sexy ladies and their boobs.

Plot: The British space shuttle Churchill is floating along on it's mission to have a butchers at Halley's Comet, when they detect a needle shaped object sitting in the corona of the comet. Turns out, it's a spaceship, with loads a crusty, bat-like creatures and a few folk in some sort of hibernation. They decide to take 'em back to the UK and have a better butchers. Things go tits up and a spare shuttle pops up to investigate.

I'll not go any further other than to say that this space vampire film is also a sort of zombie film and has a rather disturbing scene where Sir Patrick Stewart snogs another guy...ew.

Budget: $25,000,000

Gross: $11,603,545

Fun Fact: Screenplay by sci-fi script master Dan O'Bannon. Michael Winner was at one point considered for the helm, with Sir John Gielgud, Klaus Kinski, George Peppard and Billy Idol also considered for the roles.