Basket Case

Proof positive that you can, quite easily and with little or no script, make a film that fools will watch (myself included).

Plot: Boy is born with a siamese twin attached at the side. His father forces an operation upon the pair and dumps the 'extra' bit in a bin bag. The discarded twin kills daddy and the pair live happily ever after, until they decide to kill the doctors that performed the operation.

That's it. Loads of excessive blood splatter, lack of budget and even less actor talent, as you'd expect.
I'd give it a miss people. It's not worth the time, I can't even pick out one memorable moment.

Budget: $35,000 (yep and you can tell)

Fun Fact: Directed by Frank Henenlotter, fella that made Brain Damage, also reviewed. There are 2 sequels, should you wanna turn off the sound and have a laugh dubbing it yourself. 

Star Wars episode IV: A New Hope

Ok, so, I wasn't going to review this one. It's a huge phenomena, but it certainly fits within the cult genre, despite it's global popularity.

Plot: There's this kid (Mark Hamill), his names Luke and he doesn't like being a moisture farmer or whatever  and dreams of a day when he will become 'someone', anyone. Well, that day comes when his uncle buys a couple of errant robots from some midgets in a rusty van and there's a message with a hologram of a hot chick inside. What's a teenager to do but follow?!

So he hops in his floating land-speeder thing and goes to visit a crusty old man (Alec Guinness) in the desert (cos the chick wants him to-most kids are taught not do this, but it's space, so I guess it's ok) and learns how to swing a laser sword around (as you do). Then they bugger off to a pub, hire a spaceship from a bloke in a waistcoat (possibly the waiter), infiltrate a metal moon (run by Hammer Horror legend-Peter Cushing), rescue the chick (Carrie Fisher) and subsequently the film ends.

All the while model spaceships explode and John Williams makes beautiful music throughout, ahhhh.

Budget: $11,000,000

Gross: $755,398,007... and counting

Fun Fact: Na, if you've seen this film, you've googled it and if you've googled it, you know more than enough.

Silent Night, Deadly Night

Ok, so no points for the title.

Plot: Mum, Dad, 4yr old boy and baby brother are on their way back from visiting a play acting, catatonic grandpa with a malevolent streak, when they are flagged down by a Santa on a killing spree. Their folks are butchered and the kids end up in a Catholic orphanage (you know what's gonna become of him before we even go on). Through ignorance and maltreatment, the elder of the brothers (experiencing nightmares about Santa for years) eventually snaps.

Line of the film; "Punish, Punish, Punish!"

Budget: $750,000

Gross: $2,491,460

It was inevitable that a Santa horror would appear, given that the film was manufactured at the height of the 1980's horror obsession and we have to say thank-you; not for the writing, acting, camera work or directing, but for the numerous pairs of chests on show, which seem essential to keep the attention span of the people doomed to watch this film.

Fun Fact: The PTA fought to ban this film for it's portrayal of Santa as a 'Bad Egg', had they seen the film first, they might of realised that it was a waste of time. The film was soon pulled from distribution although four sequels followed, including Silent Night, Deadly Night 5-The Toy Maker.

Dog Soldiers

Written/Directed by Neil Marshall (The Descent), starring Kevin McKidd (Rome) and Sean Pertwee (Worzel Gummidge's son), Dog Soldiers gives every British fan of cult film making something they've been after for years...a modern British cult film.

Plot: A squad of British soldiers are sent on a training exercise to the Scottish Highlands, pitting them against special forces. Turns out though, they were just bait. Seems those pesky scots have been hiding a bit of a secret; when the moon comes out, they get as hairy as Robin Williams and decidedly less funny, or more funny, depends on your outlook. Holding up in a small house in the middle of nowhere, you get to revel in the heroic and guffaw at the ridiculous. Ever 'panned' a werewolf?

Gross: $5,491,093

This figure reflects it's standing within the cult world and explains the increasing calls for a sequel.

Fun Fact: A web-series is planned, as is that follow up, Dog Soldiers-Fresh Meat.

The Abominable Dr Phibes

This one's a cult classic. Most of you will of at least heard of it.

Plot: Set in the 1920's, a rash of religious themed killings are impacting the medical profession in London. Seems they're all dropping as part of the Ten Plagues of Egypt. First you get the Boils, then the Bats, Frogs, Blood, etc. Turns out that our title character (Vincent Price) and wife are the victims of a car wreck. He survived, just (a touch reminiscent of a certain theatrically masked musician) and occupies himself playing the organ and planning the death of the surgeons whom he believes killed his wife on the operating table. The cops are the case though. There's also a very attractive young woman wandering around playing the violin...not sure what she's there for other than oggling.

Fun Fact: Mr Price was a second choice after Hammer star Peter Cushing turned the role down due to his wife's illness at the time. Just the one sequel folks, Dr Phibes Rises Again.

Brain Damage

You have to watch this film to believe it. I miss the 80's. You couldn't or simply wouldn't do this film these days.

Plot: Disembodied brain stem travels through the years, feeding on human brains and living a symbiotic relationship with various folks. In return-Aylmer gives his buddies a shot of his 'juice'. Yep, it's a drug story for the ages. Stick it in the 1980's and add various phallic scenes and you got yourself a winner!

Budget: $? insert your best guess here...

Gross: $?

Directed by Frankenhooker and Basket Case maestro Frank Henenlotter, you can't fail to enjoy the overly long shots, the shockingly bad acting and for the ladies, the ridiculously veiny leading character.

From Beyond

Directed by Stuart Gordon (Re-Animator, Robot Jox), Produced by Brian Yuzna (Bride of Re-Animator, Beyond Re-Animator) and starring the actor that seems to live H.P.Lovecraft, Jeffrey Combs.

Plot: Two scientists, one a sex crazed nut-job and the other is Jeff-his assistant, are mid-experiment. Their idea is to enhance a gland of the brain that can theoretically open the mind to see other worldly things and stuff and such. It goes great!...however, it seems there are a few nasty flying slugs in this cross over universe that bite and the weird pink glow their machine emits drives ya horny beyond measure (sounds good so far huh). So, mad guy gets his head bitten off, Jeff goes 'nuts' and is incarcerated until a rather head strong therapist lady comes along and insists they retry the experiment.

It's good folks. It's an eighties horror, with gore, sfx and a great original story from a master of horror!

Budget: $4,500,000

Gross: $1,261,000